The shower's been had, the shirt has been changed, but the shave is still needed.

Sam, have I got a story for you...

5 weird and random facts-

1) my roommate and I both have the same nickname, both given by our mothers
(I'm Kar Kar and he's Char Char)

2) my suitemate and I both have the same birthday (June 4th, 1987)

3) According to the mystical Indian horoscope, I'm supposed to die by water, or be very unsafe around it. Coincidentally, I guess, I get very nervous swimming by myself.

4) my beard grows in thicker on the left side of my face

5) when I was very young and was having temper tantrums, I used to bang my head on the asphalt outside until my nose bled (guess that explains a lot)...

6) the only thing...well, material thing, I've ever stolen in my life is a toilet seat, currently in the possession of a friend of mine

People who should reveal themselves to me in more depth than before-

1) the next person to read this site

2) the current owner of the toilet seat

3) a friend of the nose-ringed

4) the founder of the first blog ring I ever joined

5) the first member of the only blog ring I've ever created (I still feel like such a nerd- I'm sorry I didn't do anything with it)

6) the first person to ever comment on my site

I'm pretty sure I didn't repeat anyone, though some of you may already have been used.

I'll leave you with another fact, for a closer-

I'm writing this at 4:02A.M. local time instead of doing my problem set or studying for my midterm...but you already knew that.

Ever had a recurring theme through your life? Through your joys? Through your sorrows? Through your conflicts?

Looking back at my first days here, I noticed I did. I saw the great gift I'd been given, and I was, and still am, thankful.

I've been..."initiated" into my Yale life with some difficulties I'm not used to facing, difficulties in the one place I've always remained safe, or at least beyond care. In these I lamented, worried, and allowed myself to be consumed by these fears and insecurities.

This lasted until I ran into Terrence.

Terrence is this guy in my Spanish class, who, for some reason or another, hasn't been in class for the last two weeks. That reason, I learned today, wasn't just any reason.

Terrence returned home two weeks ago to help bury his father.

As always, I felt bad. I'd been absorbed in a loss that meant a great deal to me, only to realize that I'd narrowly dodged a true bullet. Things could always get far, far worse.

As life has been showing me up here, the greatest importance to me is centered as far away from me as possible. In my usual blundering style, I focused on my major screw-ups in my first few days on my own, when I should have remembered that my blundering style almost cost me the friendship of the best friend I'll ever have, that I was lucky enough to encounter. In my melodramatic air, I focused on my minor scratches here, when such importance lies out there.

I'm glad I really needn't worry about the lives of my parents and friends, and I'm thankful for that fact every day. I still worry, though, because I don't know what I would do with real tragedy like that.

Mom, Dad, & Aparna- Though you probably won't see this, I love you, so very much. Everything I have, I owe to you. Life's indescribably hard without you guys, and I really miss you all.

So, you want me to preach? You want me to tell you what's up?

Ever fucked up 12 years of work in 12 minutes?

I did.

Ever found out that all of the work you did over those 12 years- all of the challenges you placed for yourself, all of the hurdles and obstacles you made yourself overcome while others simply went around, all of the challenges you walked straight into and, after a lot of work, threw down in triumph, only served to dig your grave deeper and build for you an insurmountably and unnecessarily hard challenge on your plans for the future?

I did.

Ever found out that the work you planned on properly using, the reward you'd labored for and attempted to reap was in fact your demise? That, in all of your rewards, you'd hidden for yourself a measure of poison?

I did.

Ever looked around, and seen everyone else doing just fine while you languished? Ever realized that you just couldn't handle the overwhelming pressure you seemed to be up against, and that you were about to cave?

I did.

Ever met an angel who saved you in 15 quick minutes? Someone who completely pulled you out of the fire and set you back up on your feet?

I did.

Ever realized that, without the divine intervention you'd just gotten, you'd have been dead, and that, even with this intervention, you were still completely outclassed, and were the bottom dreg of the pool, and that you hadn't the damnedest clue why you were where you were?

Still do.

EDIT:

Ever realized that, shortly after writing a Xanga entry decrying your miserable existence, that you were already very lucky to have avoided a similar abyss? Ever realize that you almost pissed away 6 years of entirely different, vibrant life, with the promise of far, far more to come, on nothing but bad advice, foolishness, and even pride?

That one's for you, Sam- here's to great times had with more to come. I seriously owe you a cold one.

As low of a dreg as I am here, I've still been blessed with the salvation of this. Little else can begin to compare.

In honor of Independence Day- a belated tribute to those who serve.

Thank you all for the bounties you afford us, for the protection of the rights we hold dear. Thank you for preserving the sanctity and security of life for us through your generous and unselfish sacrifice. Thank you for your service, and thank you for your care.

Thank you for our freedom.

Please, everyone, whether or not you agree with the war, support our troops. These brave men and women did not choose this war- they're only following orders. Remember, in the heat of your protests, always support the soldiers- I guarantee you, there's no place they'd rather be than home.

http://www.veteranscava.org/photos_that_will_never_make_the.htm